All my final drawing projects are finally completed. After maybe upwards of 50 hours, the stippling self-portrait is done. DONE. I don’t know why I continue to find new and creative ways to self-mutilate, but yet I do, and when I’m done I feel kind of empty inside because so much of my life revolved around this portrait. It’s not as flawless as I wanted it to be, but I liked that it showed that I put so much work into it – the shadow of grid lines in the hair area, the random drops of walnut ink… A sort of chaos within the ordered grids and general photorealism.
I feel just like how I felt after coursework was over. But this is a triumph for me, and honestly, this drawing class has made me push myself so far beyond my perceived limits, and I’m actually excited at the prospect of doing more works like this. Amy (my drawing professor) asked me if I wanted to do this again, and despite the pain – my hand/brain still hurts – I would still do it. She also called me ‘badass’. Yeah. That felt good.